Education matters – our kid’s mental health

As the youth mental health charity Stem 4 calls for more school mental health support for under-18s to combat high rates of absenteeism, it is reported that almost three in 10 secondary pupils in the UK (28% is the figure mentioned) are persistently absent from school. Dr Nihara Krause, the charity’s founder, stated that ”emotionally based school avoidance leads to pupils missing large amounts of school, disrupting their education and putting a huge strain on parents and families”.

Mental health and Scottish schools

A full 25% of Scottish parents say that academic pressure and exam stress have caused their children to feel stressed. 31% of Scottish parents say social anxiety has caused their children to feel stressed. 58% of young people in Scotland say that fear of making mistakes has led them to feel overwhelmed or unable to cope.

Research indicates that 10% of children (aged 5-16) have a clinically-diagnosable mental health problem. Around three in every class and 20% of adolescents may experience such a problem in any given year.

These are truly concerning figures for us all. Stressed children do not perform well at school. Stressed children have high impact, detrimental effects on their families, their siblings, and their friends. Reducing stress and anxiety in children should be a priority for us all.

The signs of stress in children

We know, as parents, when our kids are physically sick. We know to be diligent when kids have been in contact with friends who have been ill. The signs of ill health are straightforward: vomiting, high temperature, lack of energy, pain. This enables us to help them directly or to interact with health professionals to facilitate an intervention that will improve their health and well-being.

Are we confident that we can do the same if our kids are struggling with their mental health?

There are signs that children are struggling at school, that their life in their world is not going well. These include a sudden change in behaviour, feeling anxious or overwhelmed, feeling irritable, disturbed sleep, sweating, headaches, loss of appetite, and frequent illness.

When we are confident that there is something wrong with our child’s mental health, we need strategies to deal with it. We need to become ‘wellness coaches’ for our sons and daughters.

Creating good mental health environments

Children need a supportive and stable home in which to thrive. Parents create the family ethos and are in charge of the home environment. This is the main role that all parents have in every family home. Parents and guardians set the tone and expectations and should have the strategies in their tool box to cope with young people navigating adolescence.

Recommended ideas include providing a good diet, encouraging daily exercise and ‘down time’ where kids have the freedom to read a book or watch a film that has nothing to do with their course work. Having sufficient time for their friends and hobbies is also an important part of the mix.

Most of us want to see our kids do well at school. We want them to ‘achieve their potential’. There is a balance between encouraging them at school and driving them too hard – contributing to their stress by insisting on the highest grades in every subject.

We need to cut them some slack and let them find and develop their own interests. Forming their own band or becoming a beautician may not be the parental ideal of a career but if it lights your kid’s candle then we should be adult enough to give them the space and see where it leads. Remember many of us were going to be the next big thing musically when we were fifteen. The amazing thing is that some bands do go on and make a living in this industry. If that’s what motivates your kids, gets them out of bed in the morning then who are we to complain?

Wider family relations are generally good for mental health

Spending some time together, involving grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, all helps create support bonds and a sense of roots in place and time.

Family members and friends can also become role models for young people. The idea that you can only ‘aspire to be what you can see’ should not condemn young people to become younger versions of their parents. Young people in the 21^st Century should not be, in the words of Bruce Springsteen, “brought up to do what their daddy done”. Those days are gone and as parents, we have to recognise that our kids are on their own journey. Many will work at jobs that we know nothing about; jobs that don’t exist yet.

Parents and schools

The relationship between parents, schools as organisations, and the people who deal daily with young people is front and centre to successful outcomes. If there is a lack of understanding, or a conflict between parents and school, this can be very damaging to the pupil. Schools can be damaging places for young people who are struggling.

Dr Lorna Chessum (formerly Principal Lecturer in Education, Brighton) recently wrote in the Guardian (Wednesday 07 February 2024),

“Strict enforcement of uniform, punishments for infringements of draconian rules and liberal use of isolation and exclusion have created a harsh culture in many schools. If the rigid and narrow curriculum – with reduced opportunities for creativity – plus endless testing is added to students’ experiences, it is hardly surprising that they are anxious. Such a culture is anti-educational and anti-learning”

I can only hope that this is not typical of your experience of your children’s school. I know that there are many schools in Scotland which have a different ethos from the one described by Chessum.

Children need and deserve better than this