Every Polish person knows that feeling: you are trying to explain some details of Polish grammar to a foreigner and you watch with amusement the look of disbelief on their faces. I am experiencing something similar explaining British politics to Poles.
Over a decade ago I began studying Central and Eastern European studies at the University of Glasgow. We had that one lecturer who started their class with laying out what is considered to be democratic countries. Apparently, a head of state has to be elected and there needs to be proportional representation in at least one chamber of the parliament. But, as we quickly learned, those are only the standards required from Eastern European countries, not from a superior, well established democracy like Great Britain. Whenever she asked us to give an example of a country that was not fully democratic, the whole class would shout “Great Britain!”. This never failed to annoy her, prompting her to stomp her feet and shout back “It’s not the same!”
Britain is not a democracy
But by their own definition, Britain is not a democracy. The only qualification needed to become a head of the state is to be born into the right family. The upper chamber of parliament (House of Lords) is populated with religious leaders, hereditary peers (at least until recently) and, for the most part, political appointees, allies and donors of various recent prime ministers rewarding loyalty and returning favours.
The first-past-the-post system
As for the lower chamber, the House Of Commons, the first-past-the-post (FPTP) electoral system leaves many Britons effectively unrepresented. If, for example, ten candidates contest a constituency, and the winner secures only 15% of the votes, the remaining 85% of voters in that district end up being represented by someone who does not share their views. In fact, in practice, the threshold can be even lower, as the FPTP system encourages the dominance of the two major parties, forcing some voters into tactical voting and choosing what they perceive as the lesser of two evils – as my podcast’s co-host puts it “Labour and Tories are just two cheeks of the same backside”.
A union – but not of equals
Then there is the matter of the devolved nations. Britain likes to present itself as a union of equals, but England is the only country whose national parliament also serves as the parliament of the entire United Kingdom. True, other countries get representation too, but even if the SNP or Plaid Cymru won every seat in Scotland or Wales, they would still have only a marginal influence on a system engineered to domination by English parties. That imbalance is reflected in how many people in England instinctively view the rest of the country. My favourite example is how the same people who claim “Britain is one nation” will, if asked where the North West or North East is, think of Carlisle and Newcastle, rather than Durness and Lerwick. I came across another example today when I read that the prime minister-to-be had decided to keep his residence “up north”. Needless to say, he did not mean Aberdeen.
Electing a new prime minister
You might already be rolling your eyes at me at this point , but imagine you are Polish and ask me:
“I read that Britain is about to have a new prime minister. Who is he, and how does the change work? And why is there a picture of him with some furries and cosplayers? Was he at Comic-Con?”
Well, better buckle up, as you are in for a ride.
In 2024, there was a general election in Britain. The Labour party won by a landslide. About one in three British voters cast their ballots for them, yet they ended up with over 400 seats in 650-seat parliament.
“Wait”, you’d interrupt. So they got 33% of the votes, but got about 60% of the seats in parliament?”, you’d ask.
“Yeah, that’s first-past-the-post for you. Don’t interrupt”, I’d reply, and continue the story.
“The leader of the winning party, Keir Starmer, became prime minister. Unfortunately, he turned out to be very unpopular and the Labour party lost significantly in both local elections and in recent parliamentary by-elections. As the Green Party gained in popularity, with many Labour supporters switching sides, Labour decided to replace Starmer before he dragged the party further down. The only complication is, the new prime minister also has to be a member of parliament.”
“Why? Is that written in the constitution?”, you’d ask.
“No, I think it’s just a custom. Britain doesn’t have a written constitution”, I’d reply.
“So, in theory, the king can appoint anyone?”
“Yes, in theory he could appoint some random punter from the pub. But, in actual fact, the king has very limited powers and must abide by conventions. He will have to choose someone who has the confidence of the House of Commons. So realistically, it would have to be a MP.”
“Oh well … at least it’s a good thing they have over 400 MPs, surely that’s plenty of experienced politicians to choose from” – you’d assume, but you’d be wrong. It’s more complicated than that.
Nominating Andy Burnham – not an easy task
I continue to explain,
“Apparently, none of those MP’s are good enough (or willing) to take over after Keir Starmer. Therefore one Andy Burnham was chosen. But he was not an MP, he was the Mayor of Greater Manchester. To become prime minister, he first has to r contest a parliamentary by-election. That by-election exists only because a Labour MP has agreed to resign the seat that local voters elected him to hold. Then having been elected to become MP, he was automatically disqualified from the office he held before the election, that of Greater Manchester Mayor which includes being the Police and Crime Commissioner.”
And this is where the story becomes incredibly absurd.
Andy Burnham must stand before the voters of Makerfield and, in effect, say: “Please elect me as your MP so that I can leave almost immediately to become prime minister, and leave the office the people of Greater Manchester elected me to hold. Our current leader has become a liability, and apparently none of the 400 Labour MPs already sitting in Parliament is considered suitable to replace him.”
A tiny fraction of voters choose the next prime minister
This means that around 72,000 voters in a single constituency – a tiny fraction of Britain’s electorate – have, in practice, determined who becomes the country’s next prime minister. Nobody else gets a direct say. In theory, they have a tough choice ahead of them. Burnham is not the only candidate. There are some Tories and Greens, running lifeless campaigns, seemingly quite aware there is little chance of winning. The Reform candidate is putting up a proper fight. There are also some independents, including a giant furry fox and Count Binface, an intergalactic warrior who wears a dustbin on his head.
In reality, however, the voters are being asked to endorse Labour’s decision rather than make one of their own. If they were to elect the Reform candidate – or Count Binface, whose policy platform is arguably not just more entertaining but also, in my humble opinion, much more sensible than that of many established candidadtes – neither would become prime minister. They would simply delay Labour’s succession plan. The only tangible outcome would be that the people of Makerfield would have an MP who actually intended to remain their MP.
And so here we are. To become a new British prime minister, a British politician must first, in this instance, persuade a party colleague to vacate the parliamentary seat to which they were elected, and then ask the voters of a single small area to send him to Westminster, after abandoning the office to which voters elected him in 2024. He must also compete against a Reform UK candidate, a giant fox, and a space warrior from another planet.
So please, my old Glasgow University Professor, remind me once again how Britain is a sensible democracy.
Because whenever I try to explain this system to my fellow Poles, the looks on their faces suggest that they are simply waiting for me to reveal the part played by the Knights Who Say “Ni!” in the British constitution.
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