I was on the phone to a pal, today. She had been doing some decorating, more specifically, painting cupboard doors in the kitchen. I wasn’t exactly bored by the conversation, but neither was I particularly enthralled. There’s only so much you can endure, hearing how “preparation is everything” and “make sure you sand with the grain”.
During a momentary lull in the conversation, which in itself was unusual, I began to talk of the geopolitical ramifications of NATO collapsing in an increasingly fragile world ruled by despots when suddenly I heard what I thought was a crisp bag being opened.
“Are you eating crisps?”
“No, better than that! I’ve been sent some extra handles.”
It transpires she had ordered two cupboard handles but instead had been sent 10. Her joy was unbounded with the realisation that before her were eight extra handles more than required. There followed a discourse on how the extra handles would be utilised. My momentary irritation at her complete lack of engagement in my crucially important diatribe soon dissipated. You see, it was just a small thing, but it made her happy.
A fiver in the pocket
It’s like that moment when you put on a pair of jeans and you find a fiver. You could be the richest person in the world, but the discovery of that fiver means everything in that moment. A personal victory that immediately wags your tail and sends you off into the world, smiling. You are richer than you thought you were two minutes ago. And there’s the added bonus of boring your pals with the fiver anecdote, even though it’s undoubtedly happened to them too!
Take the win
Small victories are everywhere. Picking the right queue at the shops; hitting the exact amount at the petrol station; finding the public toilet cubicle with toilet paper. Driving into a heaving car park when the car next to you reverses out gifting the space to you! Going to the dentist and hearing:
“All good. See you in a year.”
Still alive
These are important psychological gains for us as human beings. Sure, you can play the National Lottery hoping for a big win that may never happen, but in the meantime, you ignore the little moments of joy.
The other day I met an old pal I had not seen in years, and his first words were almost complimentary:
“Barbour, I thought you were dead!”
I think he was genuinely pleased to see I hadn’t kicked the bucket and just for a second, I enjoyed his happiness, vicariously.
Initiate the happiness
You don’t have to wait for these occasions to happen but instead you can initiate someone else’s moment of joy. Say “Hello!” to a complete stranger, especially someone who looks a bit sad. They may seem puzzled why you noticed them, but I guarantee they will have appreciated it. Of course, you might be ignored, but who cares, you tried.
Or tell the barista that you love it when they are on duty because they make a brilliant flat white. Nobody loses out – the barista will be glad to have his skills appreciated and you feel better for giving a bit of positive feedback.
So, when you see Trump spouting his hate or starting another war, or while watching another session of PMQs in the House of Commons leaving you wondering about the very meaning of life, just order some handles and maybe, just maybe, you’ll get some extra ones!
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